I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

- J K Jerome

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it isn't half so bad as a lot of ignorance.

- Terry Pratchett

"I hear you're a famous writer," said an old man I met in the road. "I'd like to be a famous writer too, but 'tis bloody hard. The comma and the apostrophe are all right, but the semicolon is the very divil."

- Frank O'Connor

To go to St Paul's is certain death. The thermometer is several degrees below zero. My sentences are frozen as they come out of my mouth, and are thawed in the course of the summer, making strange noises and unexpected assertions in various parts of the church.

- Rev. Sydney Smith 1771-1854

That's a lot of sky to be a small shopkeeper under.

- Arkwright, in Open All Hours (Roy Clarke)

Für d' Flöh gibt's a Pulver,
für d' Schuach gibt's a Wix,
für 'n Durst gibt's a Wasser,
Bloß für d' Dummheit gibt's nix.

- anon, Bavarian

We can't go around spewing out an endless stream of non-sequiturs. There'd be anarchy.

- Carter, Nightingales

If I were a younger man, I would write a history of human stupidity

-Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle